#24 People Pleasing

Reach out now, we can help
Home / Posts tagged "south africa"

#24 People Pleasing

21 November, 2018Podcasts, News

#24 People Pleasing

People pleasing is a behavior that is as old as the hills, more recently described as Codependence. It is a really sticky problem and a behavior that is incredibly difficult to change. I would say almost impossible to do anything about alone. Ultimately though, you have to do ALL the work to recover.

The Victim

The most famous point of recognition is being a victim. While Codependent people rarely admit to this behavior, they sure indulge it in themselves. People pleaser’s defining characteristic is selfishness because every decision is based on how that person feels. It is the barometer for every decision. This results in a ton of secret self-pity.

The Persecutor

More importantly though is the persecutor, although any self-respecting people pleaser will never admit to this behavior. They always think of themselves in the best light. ‘I would never harm anyone!’ unless of course we are having a sulk and behaving in a passive-aggressive fashion.

The Rescuer

Lastly the rescuer. This is perhaps the thing that saves the people pleasing person, at the end of the day. We over commit to the point of burnout, caretaking anything that comes across our path. If the people pleasing person is lucky, they get the right kind of help. If not, 2 codependent people might destroy each other in a relationship.

I go into a bit if detail and look at a solution, if you need help getting out of this hole, please get hold of me and I can help.

I hope you enjoy the podcast.


This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction.


Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information:




+27 012 345 1186 Pretoria

+27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

No Obligation Addiction Assessment

Book a No Obligation Confidential Assessment at your nearest Treatment Centre Today.

Johannesburg Admissions: +27 74 895 1043
Pretoria Admissions: +27 82 653 3311

Stories of Recovery

  • The encouragement, love and support from the team at Crossroads allowed me to eventually see that I was worth something - that my life could be turned around and that I could accomplish the things that had long been a forgotten dream.
    Oliver VG
    Read more
  • On the last day of my stint at Crossroads I could only express gratitude towards all who works there. A wise councillor once commented on my question when one is ready for rehab by explaining that when one is ready for rehab, rehab is ready for you.
    Johan B
    Read more
  • I was lost and my soul was broken until I ended up at Crossroads and was introduced to the Twelve Steps. With the help of their excellent staff and amazing support I have recently been clean for 18 months, I could not have done it without them!
    Carla S
    Read more
  • "Just for today I am more than three years in recovery. I have Cross Roads to thank for this wonderful gift. Cross Roads helped me to set a firm foundation in my recovery on which I can continue to build."
    Angelique J
    Read more
Left Arrow Right Arrow

Approved Medical Aids

Bestmed LogoBonitas LogoCAMAF LogoDiscovery Health LogoFedhealth LogoGovernment Employees Medical SchemeLiberty CorporateMedihelp Medical Scheme