What is Codependency?

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What is Codependency?

28 January, 2022Articles, News

Codependency, a term often associated with relationships, extends its reach into the lives of individuals who grapple with addiction recovery and substance abuse in Johannesburg and Pretoria. This unhealthy reliance on a partner, typically one battling addiction, can hinder personal growth and the pursuit of mutually satisfying relationships. In this article, we explore the dynamics of codependency, its impact on addiction recovery, and how rehabilitation centres like Crossroads Recovery Centre in Johannesburg and Pretoria offer hope and healing.

Understanding the Cycle of Codependency:

Codependency often finds its roots in dysfunctional families, where a child learns to prioritise the needs of an addicted or mentally ill parent above their own. These early experiences can shape a person’s future relationships, leading to codependent behaviours. In Johannesburg and Pretoria, where the effects of substance abuse are prevalent, it’s crucial to recognize that codependency can manifest in various relationships beyond the classic enabling spouse scenario.

The Characteristics of Codependency:

Codependent individuals may grapple with low self-esteem, deriving their value from taking care of an unhealthy partner. They often see themselves as responsible for their partner’s negative behaviours, engaging in martyr-like roles. Denial plays a significant role in codependent relationships, where the codependent may be blind to their own actions and the impact of their partner’s addiction. The need to rescue the partner is a driving force, leading to an unhealthy reliance on the relationship to avoid feelings of failure and abandonment.

Codependency’s Impact on Relationships:

Codependent relationships exhibit several hallmarks, including poor communication, a lack of boundaries, a relentless need for approval, pent-up anger, dishonesty, and a desire for control. In Johannesburg and Pretoria, where the effects of codependency can exacerbate substance abuse issues, it’s essential to address these destructive patterns.

Overcoming Codependency:

Hope shines for codependent individuals when they embark on a journey of understanding and recovery. Education on the nature of addiction and its impact on relationships is vital. Investigating childhood issues and recognizing destructive relationship patterns are key steps. Identifying and expressing emotions, as well as establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, are crucial milestones on the path to recovery.

The Role of Rehabilitation Centers:

In Johannesburg and Pretoria, rehabilitation centres like Crossroads Recovery Centre play a pivotal role in breaking the cycle of codependency and addiction. These centres offer specialised programmes addressing both substance abuse and codependency. By providing education, therapy, and a supportive environment, individuals can work towards healthier, mutually satisfying relationships and rediscover their own wants and needs. The journey to recovery begins with understanding that one’s happiness is not solely dependent on others, and that it’s possible to let go of destructive relationships.

Codependency, often entangled with addiction recovery, is a formidable challenge in Johannesburg and Pretoria, where substance abuse issues persist. Recognizing the signs and seeking help are essential steps. Rehabilitation centres like Crossroads Recovery Centre offer tailored support, guiding individuals on a path to recovery, healthier relationships, and personal growth. In these cities, help is not far away, and hope is within reach for those willing to embark on the journey to break free from the chains of codependency and addiction.

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Stories of Recovery

The encouragement, love and support from the team at Crossroads allowed me to eventually see that I was worth something - that my life could be turned around and that I could accomplish the things that had long been a forgotten dream.
Oliver VG
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On the last day of my stint at Crossroads I could only express gratitude towards all who works there. A wise councillor once commented on my question when one is ready for rehab by explaining that when one is ready for rehab, rehab is ready for you.
Johan B
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I was lost and my soul was broken until I ended up at Crossroads and was introduced to the Twelve Steps. With the help of their excellent staff and amazing support I have recently been clean for 18 months, I could not have done it without them!
Carla S
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"Just for today I am more than three years in recovery. I have Cross Roads to thank for this wonderful gift. Cross Roads helped me to set a firm foundation in my recovery on which I can continue to build."
Angelique J
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What is codependency?

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Home / Posts tagged "codependent relationships"

What is codependency?

21 June, 2019Articles, News

Codependency is defined as: an excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction. It affects an individual’s capacity to have healthy, mutually satisfying relationships.

Who is affected by codependency?

When growing up in a family where one or both parents are unreliable or unavailable due to mental illness or addiction, a child learns to put the parents’ needs first. In dysfunctional families, feelings are suppressed and problems are avoided. The child’s needs are put below those of the parent. Growing up under these conditions means that these behaviours are likely to be repeated in other relationships.

The enabling wife of the alcoholic husband is a classic example of codependency. Today this has been expanded to a parent, spouse, friend, work colleague, sibling or any person who has a relationship with someone with mental illness or a person who suffers from substance use disorder (SDU), .

What do we see in the codependent?

Codependent individuals believe they share in the responsibility of their partners negative behaviour. They often have low self-esteem and find value and purpose in ensuring the well-being of the unhealthy partner. The codependent compulsively plays the martyr role in the relationship.

He or she holds on to the sense of being needed. There is often denial around the actions of the afflicted partner and around their role in the relationship. This is followed by the need to rescue. There is an unhealthy, over-reliance on the relationship and a deep need to hold on to it to avoid feelings of failure or abandonment.

The hallmarks of a codependent relationship include: poor communication, a lack of boundaries, a deep need for approval and validation, persistent anger, dishonesty and a need to control.

What can we do about codependency?

There is hope for the codependent and that hope comes from understanding. By understanding the unhealthy behaviour and its consequences, they are able to make the necessary changes. Addiction extends into relationships and it is important that family members educate themselves and get an understanding of the addiction cycle.

It is vital to investigate childhood issues, the destructive behaviours in relationships past and present as well as to identify emotions and learn to both feel them and express them.

The goals for the codependent in recovery are to have mutually satisfying relationships, avoid the negative behaviour patterns of the past and to learn to identify their own wants and needs. Put boundaries in place and stick to them. Once the process of recovery begins, one will understand that there is no need to hold on to unhealthy/destructive relationships and your happiness is not based on what others think. You are not responsible for the happiness of others.

Sources:

https://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/co-dependency

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-zen/201609/6-signs-codependent-relationship

www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za

+27 012 345 1186 Pretoria

+27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg