What is Codependency?

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What is Codependency?

28 January, 2022Articles, News

Codependency, a term often associated with relationships, extends its reach into the lives of individuals who grapple with addiction recovery and substance abuse in Johannesburg and Pretoria. This unhealthy reliance on a partner, typically one battling addiction, can hinder personal growth and the pursuit of mutually satisfying relationships. In this article, we explore the dynamics of codependency, its impact on addiction recovery, and how rehabilitation centres like Crossroads Recovery Centre in Johannesburg and Pretoria offer hope and healing.

Understanding the Cycle of Codependency:

Codependency often finds its roots in dysfunctional families, where a child learns to prioritise the needs of an addicted or mentally ill parent above their own. These early experiences can shape a person’s future relationships, leading to codependent behaviours. In Johannesburg and Pretoria, where the effects of substance abuse are prevalent, it’s crucial to recognize that codependency can manifest in various relationships beyond the classic enabling spouse scenario.

The Characteristics of Codependency:

Codependent individuals may grapple with low self-esteem, deriving their value from taking care of an unhealthy partner. They often see themselves as responsible for their partner’s negative behaviours, engaging in martyr-like roles. Denial plays a significant role in codependent relationships, where the codependent may be blind to their own actions and the impact of their partner’s addiction. The need to rescue the partner is a driving force, leading to an unhealthy reliance on the relationship to avoid feelings of failure and abandonment.

Codependency’s Impact on Relationships:

Codependent relationships exhibit several hallmarks, including poor communication, a lack of boundaries, a relentless need for approval, pent-up anger, dishonesty, and a desire for control. In Johannesburg and Pretoria, where the effects of codependency can exacerbate substance abuse issues, it’s essential to address these destructive patterns.

Overcoming Codependency:

Hope shines for codependent individuals when they embark on a journey of understanding and recovery. Education on the nature of addiction and its impact on relationships is vital. Investigating childhood issues and recognizing destructive relationship patterns are key steps. Identifying and expressing emotions, as well as establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, are crucial milestones on the path to recovery.

The Role of Rehabilitation Centers:

In Johannesburg and Pretoria, rehabilitation centres like Crossroads Recovery Centre play a pivotal role in breaking the cycle of codependency and addiction. These centres offer specialised programmes addressing both substance abuse and codependency. By providing education, therapy, and a supportive environment, individuals can work towards healthier, mutually satisfying relationships and rediscover their own wants and needs. The journey to recovery begins with understanding that one’s happiness is not solely dependent on others, and that it’s possible to let go of destructive relationships.

Codependency, often entangled with addiction recovery, is a formidable challenge in Johannesburg and Pretoria, where substance abuse issues persist. Recognizing the signs and seeking help are essential steps. Rehabilitation centres like Crossroads Recovery Centre offer tailored support, guiding individuals on a path to recovery, healthier relationships, and personal growth. In these cities, help is not far away, and hope is within reach for those willing to embark on the journey to break free from the chains of codependency and addiction.

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Stories of Recovery

  • The encouragement, love and support from the team at Crossroads allowed me to eventually see that I was worth something - that my life could be turned around and that I could accomplish the things that had long been a forgotten dream.
    Oliver VG
    Read more
  • On the last day of my stint at Crossroads I could only express gratitude towards all who works there. A wise councillor once commented on my question when one is ready for rehab by explaining that when one is ready for rehab, rehab is ready for you.
    Johan B
    Read more
  • I was lost and my soul was broken until I ended up at Crossroads and was introduced to the Twelve Steps. With the help of their excellent staff and amazing support I have recently been clean for 18 months, I could not have done it without them!
    Carla S
    Read more
  • "Just for today I am more than three years in recovery. I have Cross Roads to thank for this wonderful gift. Cross Roads helped me to set a firm foundation in my recovery on which I can continue to build."
    Angelique J
    Read more
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DENIAL AND ADDICTION

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Home / Posts tagged "#alcoholism"

DENIAL AND ADDICTION

10 November, 2021Articles, News

Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.”

-Insert from Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous pg 30, MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM.

Denial and addiction go hand in hand, and once identified should not be dismissed, as overcoming denial is the initial step into seeking help or treatment and opening the door to change and recovery.

WHAT IS DENIAL:

Denial is the common defense mechanism which is used to avoid painful emotions associated with the reality of addiction. These emotions cause discomfort. Unfortunately denial is only a short term solution as nothing has been done to address the problem nor any attempt made to change the situation or resolve the problem. The shortened version of denial is a case of saying “it isn’t so” or “it is not true”, despite the reality that is obvious to other’s involved and witnessing the results of an addiction. Outsiders are often quicker to identify the denial, however, may too, be in denial around the severity of the addiction and struggle to recognise if the situation is denial or simply normal destructive behavior. Denial happens when a person can’t or won’t face what they know deep down to be true.

Commonly when or once a decision has been made to seek treatment for addiction, a huge web of denial and mistruth’s around the individual and their thinking patterns have been altered and formed to accommodate depenance or addiction. Treatment for addiction includes the undoing of these patterns and thinking and is a vital part of the change required for the road to recovery and change.

CHARACTERISTICS OF DENIAL PATTERNS:

Being able to honestly identify and or admitting to the following will be able to establish if any denial is present.

  • Difficulty in identifying true feelings.
  • Tend to minimise the intensity of feelings.
  • Identifying as a selfless being.
  • Tend to project negative traits onto others.
  • Resist or put down any help from others.
  • Lack empathy for others.
  • False belief that one is self-sufficient.
  • Mask pain with other negative emotional states, like sarcasm, anger, and frustration.
  • Tendency to covert uncomfortable feelings to aggression.
  • Lacking in insight or poor interpersonal relationships

INDENTIFING DENIAL:

It could be helpful to consider these questions which could assist in seeking treatment and overcoming the fact that there is denial around addiction:

  • Refusing criticism or honest loving comments from others who express concern around signs of addiction or addictive behavior
  • Unwillingness to see that the behaviour around substances is contributing to a deterioration in all areas of life
  • Worried about the stigma associated with addiction or afraid to seek or accept help
  • Lost a job or been reprimanded as a result of behaviour or substance abuse
  • Lost time at workplace for unexplainable illness or increased absence from workplace
  • Family negatively affected by addictive behaviour
  • Repeatedly tried and failed to stay clean or sober
  • Given up on goals or personal dreams as a result of been stuck in addiction
  • No longer care about broken promises made to loved ones

Overcoming denial is possible and it may be that the denial is so evident that the individual decides to face the truth and seek help and treatment. On the other hand, the denial may be so embedded that it appears improbable to acknowledge that there is a problem and a need for treatment and change. Often, after years of denial that there is a problem with addiction, there is an undeniable accumulation of evidence pointing to a need for treatment for addiction and loved ones may need to intervene to allow the addict access to treatment and recovery.

COMMON DENIAL PATTERNS:

Common denial patterns have been indentified that keep an individual trapped in resisting any change or seeking treatment for denial and addiction. The presence of these denial patterns will not resolve the problem and the sooner these are addressed the sooner the problem is addressed.

  • AVOIDANCE:

This is when there is a blatant refusal to talk about the problem. Individuals completely avoid any attempts to talk about the problem and are firm in the belief about not having a problem.

  • ABSOLUTE DENIAL:

An adamant belief that there is no problem. The absolute idea that everything is alright. Complete unwillingness to consider that there is a problem.

  • MINIMISING:

A tendency to minimise the effect of the addiction, and assume that the situation is not as bad as others makes it out to be.

  • RATIONALISING:

The ability to justify the behaviour to oneself or others. A tendency to find reasons for the behaviour.

  • BLAMING:

This involves putting the blame on others and the inability to take any responsibility for the situation.

  • COMAPARING:

This is a constant comparing of the situation or problem and is usually done with a person who is worse, in an attempt to feel better about their current situation.

  • COMPLIANCE:

This is when there is pretence to do what is required, which simply masks the problem and does not do anything to address the situation.

  • MANIPULATION:

People affected by the addiction and denial are manipulated, usually in the form of pushing them away, anger or temper tantrums. Another form of this is to please the other party in an attempt to not look at the problem.

  • FLIGHT INTO HEALTH:

The addict attempts to mask the problem by pretending to be in good health physically and emotionally to show that they have been cured and no further problem exists.

  • RECOVERY BY FEAR:

Fear of change and consequences cause an addict to avoid looking at the problem or treating the problem.

  • HOPELESSNESS:

This is seen when a person believes that there is no solution to the problem, and as result they do not address or seek treatment for the problem.

  • DEMOCRATIC:

When a person is finds comfort in the “sick role” and tends to get defensive about getting support or treatment.

CONCLUSION:

Breaking through denial and admitting that there is a problem is one of the most challenging aspects of seeking treatment for addiction, and looking at one’s own truth’s and realities is painful. Once these beliefs and ideas are broken, the ability to engage in effective treatment is possible, and new tools are given to cope with the pain and reality of addiction. The addict can ultimately find recovery and a new way to live.

If you or a loved one needs assistance with addiction and denial – know that help is readily available. The road to recovery is not always an easy one but getting yourself or your loved one the best possible care from the team at Crossroads Recovery Centre, provides you with a map to sober, healthy living. No matter how bad things seem, there is hope and it’s only a phone call away. If you or anyone close to you needs help with an addiction to sex, gambling, substances, alcohol or food, please contact us for a free assessment.

RESOURCES:

www.sunshinebehaviouralhealth.com

www.recoverythought.journal.com

www.123helpme.com

www.azureacres.com

Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous

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Johannesburg Admissions: +27 74 895 1043
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Stories of Recovery

  • The encouragement, love and support from the team at Crossroads allowed me to eventually see that I was worth something - that my life could be turned around and that I could accomplish the things that had long been a forgotten dream.
    Oliver VG
    Read more
  • On the last day of my stint at Crossroads I could only express gratitude towards all who works there. A wise councillor once commented on my question when one is ready for rehab by explaining that when one is ready for rehab, rehab is ready for you.
    Johan B
    Read more
  • I was lost and my soul was broken until I ended up at Crossroads and was introduced to the Twelve Steps. With the help of their excellent staff and amazing support I have recently been clean for 18 months, I could not have done it without them!
    Carla S
    Read more
  • "Just for today I am more than three years in recovery. I have Cross Roads to thank for this wonderful gift. Cross Roads helped me to set a firm foundation in my recovery on which I can continue to build."
    Angelique J
    Read more
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Addiction – what does it mean ?

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Home / Posts tagged "#alcoholism"

Addiction – what does it mean ?

06 October, 2021Articles, News

Addiction comes in many forms, alcohol and drug addiction being the most well-known. Alcohol and drug addiction are defined as the loss of control over the use of a substance. There are other ways of acting out in addiction that can be just as harmful to the person. Gambling, sex addiction, food addiction and other addictive behaviours are the equivalent of drug and alcohol addiction as they too result in a loss of control and powerlessness as well as loss of family support, financial insecurity, legal problems and health problems. These consequences, when they do occur, are very real and devastating to the addict and their families.

Alcohol Addiction

Alcoholism is characterised by compulsive and uncontrolled consumption of alcohol, binge drinking, blackouts and irresponsible behaviour when under the influence. Missing work, school or important occasions, social withdrawal and isolation are all symptoms of alcoholism.

http://www.aasouthafrica.org.za/

Drug Addiction

Drug addiction is the compulsive use of a chemical substance despite the negative effects, health risks, loss of social standing, financial risks, risky behaviour, which may lead to an active engagement in criminal activities to support a drug habit. This may be followed by arrests and confinement in prison or institutions, loss of family and friends, social withdrawal and isolation. Commonly used drugs are heroin, cocaine, marijuana, crack cocaine, CAT, crystal methamphetamine or tik, prescription medication, GHB, ecstasy and LSD.

http://www.na.org.za/

Sex addiction

The term “sexual addiction” is used to describe the behaviour of a person who has an unusually intense sex drive or an obsession with sex. Sex and the thought of sex tend to dominate the sex addict’s thinking, making it difficult to work or engage in healthy personal relationships.

Sex addicts engage in distorted thinking, often rationalising and justifying their behaviour and blaming others for problems. They generally deny they have a problem and make excuses for their actions.
Sex addiction is also associated with risk-taking. A person with an addiction to sex, engages in various forms of sexual activity, despite the potential for negative and/or dangerous consequences. In addition to damaging the addicts relationships and interfering with his or her work and social life, a sexual addiction also puts the person at risk for emotional and physical injury.

http://www.sexaa.org/
http://www.slaafws.org/

Gambling

Addictive Gambling is as destructive if not more so then any drug or alcohol addiction. Compulsive gamblers lie, steal and wreak havoc with their finances in order to get there “fix”. Unable to control themselves, they will gamble their life savings away and in the process, put tremendous strain on their relationships with friends and families. The next big win is always only one bet away and sadly never comes. There is no such thing as a big enough win for the addicted gambler to stop. Unfortunately this addiction does often not receive the attention it deserves and many gamblers may resort to suicide as the only way out of their addiction.

http://www.responsiblegambling.co.za/

Food addiction

Food addiction is a contemporary term used to describe a pathological disorder; the compulsive, excessive craving for and consumption of food. This condition is not only manifested by the abnormal intake of food, but the intake and craving for foods that are, in themselves, harmful to the individual. While society and the medical profession have readily understood alcoholism and drug abuse, it is only in recent years that there is an equal acceptance of the fact that persons may be addicted to food in the same way. When any substance is taken into the body regardless of its potential for harm or in excess of need, that substance is said to be abused. Individuals who abuse substances in such a way are addicts; these persons become physiologically and mentally dependent upon certain substances, in this case food.

http://www.foodaddicts.org/

If you or anyone close to you needs help with an addiction to sex, gambling, substances, alcohol or food, please contact us for a free assessment. Crossroads rehabilitation centres offer many options for recovery, including an outpatient programme. Contact us for advice on how to best proceed with your recovery. The road to recovery is not always an easy one but getting yourself or your loved one the best possible care from the team at Crossroads Recovery Centre, provides you with a map to sober, healthy living. No matter how bad things seem, there is hope and it’s only a phone call away.

www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za

074 89 51043 JHB

012 450 5033 PTA

No Obligation Addiction Assessment

Book a No Obligation Confidential Assessment at your nearest Treatment Centre Today.

Johannesburg Admissions: +27 74 895 1043
Pretoria Admissions: +27 82 653 3311
Close

Stories of Recovery

  • The encouragement, love and support from the team at Crossroads allowed me to eventually see that I was worth something - that my life could be turned around and that I could accomplish the things that had long been a forgotten dream.
    Oliver VG
    Read more
  • On the last day of my stint at Crossroads I could only express gratitude towards all who works there. A wise councillor once commented on my question when one is ready for rehab by explaining that when one is ready for rehab, rehab is ready for you.
    Johan B
    Read more
  • I was lost and my soul was broken until I ended up at Crossroads and was introduced to the Twelve Steps. With the help of their excellent staff and amazing support I have recently been clean for 18 months, I could not have done it without them!
    Carla S
    Read more
  • "Just for today I am more than three years in recovery. I have Cross Roads to thank for this wonderful gift. Cross Roads helped me to set a firm foundation in my recovery on which I can continue to build."
    Angelique J
    Read more
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Rehabilitation Centres – what to expect.

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Home / Posts tagged "#alcoholism"

Rehabilitation Centres – what to expect.

01 October, 2021Articles, News

Addiction is a complex phenomenon characterized by a loss of control and compulsive, habitual behaviour. Since there is no single, specific cause for addiction, there is no single, standard treatment at rehabilitation centres for it. A variety of approaches are used, including counseling, psychotherapy, medications, and mutual help groups. The best known and most widely available approach to addiction is the 12-step programmes of recovery which is what we use at Crossroads Recovery Centre.

People with severe substance use disorders require long-term care at rehabilitation centres, even after the initial treatment. There is, however, a deficit in the availability of such care. This may be due both to inadequate medical coverage and insufficient use of community-based twelve-step programmes in rehabilitation centres.

Although there are many rehabilitation centres in Gauteng that use different modalities of treatment. One of the most successful forms of treatment for addiction disorders are twelve-step orientated ones such as that found at Crossroads Recovery Centre.

Twelve-step programmes are mutual aid organizations for the purpose of recovery from substance addictions, behavioral addictions and compulsions. Dozens of other organizations have been derived
from AA’s approach to address problems as varied as drug addiction, compulsive gambling and overeating.

The 12-step recovery programme is a cornerstone in the treatment of drug and alcohol addiction. Started in the 1930s, it was the first popularized treatment methodology to acknowledge addiction as something other than a choice.

A 12-step programme like AA or NA provides a framework of steps in acknowledging the addiction, accepting the consequences of the addiction, ways to mend at least some of the damage done while using, and encourages the building of a network of support through a service-oriented 12th step. 12-step programmes can offer a life-line of much-needed support.

Evidence supports the effectiveness of AA and NA. One study, sponsored by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), examined the effectiveness of three different treatment types in reducing overall drinking, including the 12-step, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and motivational therapy. While all three treatment types showed promise, the 12-step programme resulted in the most significant long-term impact.

12 Step recovery is unique in that it gives people the opportunity to find a long-term solution to their problem, not just for the duration of their professional treatment. At Crossroads Recovery Centre we make the 12 steps a cornerstone of the professional work done so that when our clients leave treatment they know where they can find help. This approach equips each person with the needed skills and resources to address their problem in a meaningful way without the need for lifelong therapy and professional intervention.

The 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous is used as the ground work for treatment at Crossroads Recovery Centre. These are used in conjunction with group and individual therapy, as well as fellowship meetings, to educate and guide a person into their new life in sobriety and recovery.

Other group work includes : process groups, exposure groups (to counter denial as a defence), gender groups, spiritual groups amongst many others along with individual, one-on-one therapy.

Process group
Process group is the most common type of therapeutic group given at Crossroads Recovery Centres. An addictions counsellor is present and facilitates the running of the group while each client is asked to participate. Group therapy is an intensive process, clients are asked to be vulnerable and give feedback to one another. This process is incredibly beneficial as it is the best way for clients to bring the issues they may have to light and start to deal with them in a supporting environment.

Gender group
In gender groups men and women are separated. This gives each client space to address any gender-specific problems they may have. A counsellor facilitates the group and prepares topics for discussion and reflection. We find that separating the genders gives our clients an opportunity to talk about issues and concerns that they may feel uncomfortable addressing in front of members of the opposite sex. It is a format which encourages a deeper discussion about issues that may be gender-specific and gender-sensitive, for example; sexual abuse, love and sex addiction, marriage problems, sexual dysfunction and expectations set by gender roles.

Spiritual group
Spirituality is a cornerstone of 12 step recovery programmes. In these groups counsellors address a number of issues related to spirituality. These include topics such as meditation, practicing spiritual principles and finding new ways to connect with a higher power of your own understanding. Though topics and thoughts from certain religions may be brought up, at Crossroads Recovery Centre we pride ourselves on being inclusive of all religions and faiths, or lack thereof. These topics encourage discussion and exploration of new ideas related to each individuals spiritual practice so that they may gain a better understating of the 12 steps as a whole.

Planning and objectives
Many people come into recovery lacking direction and discipline. Weekly planning and objective groups are structured in a way that encourages our clients to set meaningful and attainable, short-term goals in order to work up to achieving long-term objectives. Each week the clients give a report on whether they achieved their goals or not. They are then held accountable by their peers. This continuous process of goal setting and reporting back, helps our clients learn how to go forward with planning and structure once they leave our facility.

Exposure group
From time-to-time it becomes apparent that a person may not be doing as well as expected in treatment. This may be for several reasons. It could be holding on to old ideas, refusing to participate fully, being dishonest or breaking rules in the facility. For whatever reason, the person may be confronted in a group therapy session. In this type of group several counsellors may participate, and the clients peers are given an opportunity to address them directly. We have found that this type of confrontation can be very powerful and can be a good wake-up call for problematic behaviour. Of course, subjects of a sensitive or confidential matter are not handled in this type of confrontation.

Life story group
As part of the therapeutic process at Crossroads Recovery Centre, all clients are asked to write a life story. This is presented to the group and the counsellors. The life story combined with behaviour that has occurred in their time at Crossroads Recovery Centre is processed and feedback is given. The client has an opportunity to hear what their peers and counsellors think will help them in their recovery going forward, and what attitudes and behaviours may prove problematic in the long run. From this point our client can move forward with a better understanding of how they can better help themselves.

Crossroads rehabilitation centres offer many options for recovery, including an outpatient programme. Contact us for advice on how to best proceed with your recovery. If you or anyone close to you needs help with an addiction to sex, gambling, substances, alcohol or food, please contact us for a free assessment. The road to recovery is not always an easy one but getting yourself or your loved one the best possible care from the team at Crossroads Recovery Centre, provides you with a map to sober, healthy living. No matter how bad things seem, there is hope and it’s only a phone call away.

www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za

074 89 51043 JHB

012 450 5033 PTA

Resources :

https://vertavahealth.com/blog/pros-cons-12-step-programs/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve-step_program

https://journalofethics.ama-assn.org/article/addiction-12-step-programs-and-evidentiary-standards-ethically-and-clinically-sound-treatment/2016-06

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00952990.2017.1306747

No Obligation Addiction Assessment

Book a No Obligation Confidential Assessment at your nearest Treatment Centre Today.

Johannesburg Admissions: +27 74 895 1043
Pretoria Admissions: +27 82 653 3311
Close

Stories of Recovery

  • The encouragement, love and support from the team at Crossroads allowed me to eventually see that I was worth something - that my life could be turned around and that I could accomplish the things that had long been a forgotten dream.
    Oliver VG
    Read more
  • On the last day of my stint at Crossroads I could only express gratitude towards all who works there. A wise councillor once commented on my question when one is ready for rehab by explaining that when one is ready for rehab, rehab is ready for you.
    Johan B
    Read more
  • I was lost and my soul was broken until I ended up at Crossroads and was introduced to the Twelve Steps. With the help of their excellent staff and amazing support I have recently been clean for 18 months, I could not have done it without them!
    Carla S
    Read more
  • "Just for today I am more than three years in recovery. I have Cross Roads to thank for this wonderful gift. Cross Roads helped me to set a firm foundation in my recovery on which I can continue to build."
    Angelique J
    Read more
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