#24 People Pleasing

#24 People Pleasing

People pleasing is a behavior that is as old as the hills, more recently described as Codependence. It is a really sticky problem and a behavior that is incredibly difficult to change. I would say almost impossible to do anything about alone. Ultimately though, you have to do ALL the work to recover.

The Victim

The most famous point of recognition is being a victim. While Codependent people rarely admit to this behavior, they sure indulge it in themselves. People pleaser’s defining characteristic is selfishness because every decision is based on how that person feels. It is the barometer for every decision. This results in a ton of secret self-pity.

The Persecutor

More importantly though is the persecutor, although any self-respecting people pleaser will never admit to this behavior. They always think of themselves in the best light. ‘I would never harm anyone!’ unless of course we are having a sulk and behaving in a passive-aggressive fashion.

The Rescuer

Lastly the rescuer. This is perhaps the thing that saves the people pleasing person, at the end of the day. We over commit to the point of burnout, caretaking anything that comes across our path. If the people pleasing person is lucky, they get the right kind of help. If not, 2 codependent people might destroy each other in a relationship.

I go into a bit if detail and look at a solution, if you need help getting out of this hole, please get hold of me and I can help.

I hope you enjoy the podcast.


This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction.


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